Loretta the Trucko

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Guest Article by Our 16-Year Old

I’m gonna preface this by saying that as the daughter of this domain owner, I am ashamed to admit i have no clue how to write a blog post. Therefore I will be leaving open (and closing) brackets for my dad to fill in because he says funny things. I feel like I should say hi and introduce myself because this is something my dad’s never done before and I’m honored to be the first guest – it’s kinda like when DWA has a guest, except I’m typing this alone in my bedroom at 1am [Am I naive in thinking she should always be alone at 1 am in her bedroom? – Ed.]

So hi, I’m Reagan (like the president – great name, I know!) I’m Bobby’s favorite daughter – and only daughter, meaning by process of elimination I’m also his least favorite. I’m 16 years old and 5’0.5”. If you are friends with him on social media and you see his horse posts, don’t let him fool you. He hasn’t gone John Wayne (yet). Those are my horses Major and Remi that I compete in rodeo events with. I’m a sophomore in high school and when I turned 15 last year I set out on a mission to find my dream truck. I clearly don’t know how to dream so I was looking at second gen Dodge 2500s with the 12-valve Cummins and 5-speed manual with a shitty chewed up interior and questionable mileage. [About that language… – Dad] I sent my dad just about every truck capable of towing my dream of a 48’ 4-horse gooseneck with full living quarters trailer. About mid summer, I gave up with the whole big truck thing and sent him girly little BMWs like my brother drives. [shots fired! – Ed.] I sent him every vehicle under the sun that i thought would get me out of driving the little $200 Mighty Max sitting as a lawn ornament out front because by golly that thing’s ugly. [This is a $200 truck purchased for its 24 Hours of LeMons potential – Ed.]

Behold the beauty of the Mighty Max.

As it came closer and closer to November, when I would turn 16, I decided it would be time to take my written driver’s test, which i managed to fail 4 times because none of the questions were about putting wheels on, changing oil, cleaning a carburetor or any of the fun stuff my dad prepared me for in life [She did eventually pass – Ed.]. By this time I had accepted my fate of driving the little silver beater which I decided I would be super happy with when i woke up to a bow on its hood the morning of November 22nd because yes I’m a brat but it’s better than a douchey WRX with a carbon fiber spoiler (anything is to be honest). [Wow, that’s a long sentence – Ed.] I don’t know when my dad changed his mind on the whole truck thing or if he really ever did but all I know is I learned on november 21st my real dream truck is a 2015 f250 SuperDuty with the 6.2 liter flexfuel V8. I walked out of the restaurant where we ate dinner and saw this absolute beast of a truck and a red bow. My brother handed me the key, looked me in the eyes and said “Happy birthday!” I cried. screamed. laughed. cried some more. Ya know the typical girl reactions to the perfect truck. I jumped in and started it and holy smokes I must be related to my dad because I love the sound of an American built V8 more than i love puppies.

F250 doing F250 things.

Upon my dad test drive to the high school and back with my dad, I realized I loved nothing more than my newly acquired best friend and knew immediately i would be putting some serious mileage on this girly so she required the best care possible. I named her Loretta and gave her a little patriotic air freshener, realtree mint floor mats as well as a brand new set of Rough Country fog lights i got for christmas that are stupidly bright and will blind you when you come at me in your brand new jeep wrangler (dont try me, Chad.) More additions to come to Loretta include LED roof lights that are smoked black to add to the badass-ness and a light bar that is brighter than my own future [I’ve seen her report card. This is true – Ed.] I’ve already created a million memories and am ready to create a million more with my gas guzzler. i get about 9 mpg and wouldn’t trade it for the world, especially if i get to keep seeing the looks on the faces of boys at my school when they see me getting out of my big rig that could run over their little Nissan Altimas with ease. i’d also like to mention that I proved my dad wrong 7 years after he said i wont be driving a truck😬🤷🏼‍♀️

Finishing the installation of LED fog lights.

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